That Cancer Creature

Yesterday we got some news. His PSA is up, way past the cancer markers. Nine years of hot flashes and nausea, and that time they told us would come has. The hormones aren't working, the chemo pills haven't helped. Now what do we do? It's another 9 days until time to talk with the oncologist, who will probably call for more tests, more scans, more trials. The side effects may be worse than the cancer. Who knows? What do I say to my beloved if he says, "I don't want to do this anymore." I understand, but I just can't let him go. Not yet. I want to go out and fight this hard-to-find enemy with everything science as to offer. I pray, but it's really hard to say "Thy Will be done." I don't doubt, not much anyway, but the Scriptures that keep coming when I pray say things like "It is appointed unto man . . ." and "No temptation has come upon you . . . prepared a way." That has been proved often enough that I believe it.

So what do I say? How do I act? Bright and hopeful? Sympathetic? Sad? Resigned? Strong? Weak? I just don't know. I just love him. Maybe nothing else really matters.